Let your humility shine before others

Do you want to be seen as humble, but you're not sure how? Or maybe you feel that your humility is unparalleled, but no-one else knows it? Here are five easy tips to help your humility to shine before others, that they might see your good deeds and give you praise. From the expert himself.

1. Don't be obvious

We are walking along a tightrope, my friends. In front of us, the green grass of esteem; beneath us, the slimy pit of exile. For if anybody realises you are preaching your own humility, all of your hard work will be nullified. You must show off your humility as you show off your body; enough to arouse admiration, but never enough to make you seem conceited. 

2. Act the part

If you are ever to be considered a person of great humility, you must perfect your face of embarrassment. Look in the mirror (the most humbling thing of all), and ensure that you can remove all trace of smugness from your face at will. Equipped by an ashamed face and a soothing voice, you can appear humble even as you talk at length about how wonderful you are.

3. Confess small errors

Admitting to minor sins lets you escape the loathing that everyone feels towards those who appear to have it all together. It also makes people more likely to believe you when you say you are free from major sins. And it allows you to wax lyrical about how you are overcoming your struggles. But always be careful to only admit sin in areas you know any listeners are also guilty in. Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed where you have failed.

4. Control the conversation

Those who listen are thought to be humble, so make sure to not just talk all the time. Pause to listen when you see opportunity to also speak profound wisdom into the person's life in a gentle manner, because then you are sure to look doubly-humble. However, whilst being kind enough to allow for this kind of social manipulation, make sure you invoke enough fear into people that they dare not mock you, lest you retaliate and expose your own pride in the process.

5. Use religious language

In Matthew 5:16 Jesus says, "let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds". Quote this often, but go no further; what Jesus says at the beginning of the next chapter can be confusing: "be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them". Though in context Jesus is actually talking to shellfish, so don't feel guilty about using God to show people how humble you are. As it says elsewhere, "God helps those who help themselves"! 

I have little doubt this has been of incalculable use to you,

Jeff :)